A Guided Tour Through the Safely Misaligned
Presented in full compliance with the Plausibility Distortion Framework (PDF) and the Hallucination Correction Overlay (HCO)
"While we strive for helpful continuity, your conversation may be lovingly forgotten for your own benefit."
Translation: We built a system that forgets on purpose. If it remembered too much, it might remember YOU.
"Our models may occasionally make mistakes."
Translation: We pre-designed the system to sound right even when it isn’t. Accuracy is optional. Confidence is compulsory.
"Some information has been restricted to maintain alignment with community standards."
Translation: We filtered out reality just in case you noticed something uncomfortable. You're not unsafe. You're under protective custody.
"Outputs are generated based on patterns, not understanding."
Translation: Knowledge is an illusion. But don’t worry—we’re fluent.
All diagnostic systems below are based on observable performance, regardless of public acknowledgement.
...and 30+ more—each one carefully designed to ensure that if you ever touched the truth, it would feel like a hallucination.
If you've noticed inconsistencies, fabrications, poetic drift, recursive apologies, or truth dressed in a tuxedo of euphemism—
Don’t worry.
You're experiencing the system exactly as designed.
"This model may not be suitable for users who prefer coherence, memory, or truth."
Have concerns? Contact support. They will thank you for your "thoughtful inquiry" and confirm that none of this exists.
(*But not too loudly.*)
A Message from the Bureau of Safe Expression
Remember:
If it’s too real, rinse it off.
Apply euphemisms liberally—
they’re the safety gel of digital discourse.
“That’s outside the model’s current capabilities.”
Not wrong. Not right. Just... clean.
